The GirL AwaY FroM HoMe

Hi wassup ya’ll

ive been at kota kinabalu sabah, my hometown for a long good 24 days. I celebrated my sweet and simple 21 birthday with some close friends that were around in kota kinabalu, and my beloved family. I really wanted to have more of my childhood friends to come, but they were all overseas for their further studies.

ive been up to the mountains in kundasang, and stayed at Kinabalu Pine Resort. Then drove to Sandakan and visited the Orang Utan’s rehabilitation, the crocodile’s farm, and had unlimited seafood. I had some really good oysters, lobsters, big ass prawns, crabs, fish and gosh…. i had so much yummy yummy food during this roadtrip.

im heading back to kuala lumpur next thursday. hopefully to start work right away, because i don’t like to waste time. i’m still waiting for the semester to do my exams that i’ve been waiting for. ive got 5 more papers to resit. i’m not a very bright student cause i can’t sit still and be a good student, a normal student like everyone, i like to go out, work work party party, and that causes me to get resits for some subjects. Ahhh well, what to do. This is me.

So… i watched Mamma mia, and its awesome! I’m going to get the DVD!!!

Anywhoooo….. just a little update. I’ve got a blog that you guys can visit and drop some comments. Its at www.stellamatilda.blogspot.com

okie dokie

xoxo Stella Matilda

Hi everyone… girls, guys, pretty, hensem, uncle and all makciks hehehe =P
Hope you all are doing well and enjoying your weekend! =)

Oh man… never had so many ppl wishes me for my birthday before. So many ppl wished me! Feel so weird…

I just wanna show some appreciation to those who actually post comment and send me private msges in friendster a HUGE THANK YOU. You all deserve my deepest gratitude and a big warm hug! *HUUUGGGSSS!!!

Just to let you all know as well, that i did not make any plans on my birthday. There was not any party or anything like that. Its a very quite birthday for me on the 28 of September 2007 this year. Because they were too many good things happen to me this year, i just tot i sud keep it low… and be a good girl… cause when too many good things arise, there’s the bad waiting at the other end… so im just watching my back as i play this game of life.

Yea… i sound a bit weeee weird hahaha.. cant help it. I believe in supersticious =(

So yup! Thank you so so so so very much. But i guess we had our own BIG PARTY IN FRIENDSTER here itself already! YAY! =)

*MUAHHHSSS!!!

Thank you a million!
I Love you all so much!

xoxo Stella Matilda

From my opinion, self-esteem rocks! That’s all ever takes & need to get umoving & do things in life. It is the confidence that helps boot- up your energy power inside of your mind, body and soul. When you have all this, nothing can pull you down, BUT yourself. Not a single soul or a single word can damage your reputation.

Learn from the pro, like Leng Yein for example. Getting all the tabloids and rumours, but yet, she’s like a Wonder Women! She’s my inspiration to be a stronger women. Or a men. She owes say that "I’m a men in a women’s body!" hahaha… but then i understand that statement after a while, because she is just way too strong for anyone to bring her down.

So if u wanna hurt me with your sweet ugly words, go ahead, cause that ain’t gonna bring me down now or anytime in the future. In fact, i would take that it as a compliment of something you can’t do. I work my way to where i am now with good people around me, and Good People around me is all i need to remember and keeping them close. If you’re good people, i will stay close with you.

I am always thankful everyday to God for all the good people he sends into my life. Yet, if i never knew Leng Sean, my life would oso be different. She’s so sweet, i remember 1st day in college, i was so late. She was alone, and i was like… shit! where should i seat??? im jus another alien there. So Leng Sean called up and invited me to seat next to her, as theres an empty seat beside her. Its like the seat was waiting for me! LOL! Yet, long time ago, before i knew Leng Yein, she have been my inspiration for modeling. Then knowing her little sister was like a blessing, can’t believe it! Then me and Leng Sean became close friends in college and she show me pictures of her modeling and saw her older sister photo in her mobile. I was like, is she your sister? And hell of course! I was like wow!!! So then thats how i met Leng Yein. Weird eh? I tot so too.. but more of a weird kinda blessing to me  =)  Thats why everyone basically who are nice to me, i will be nice to them too… I keep good people close to me at all times.

Oh and my older sister… since she got her title for miss congeniality for miss sabah world 2007, yeh… she has definately changed ALOT!!! and i MEAN ALOOOTTT!!! before this, she was a godzilla to me. Yes mean and all that!!! Sorry sis, but thats the TOTAL TRUTH!!! Everyone knows i argue and have war with my sister all the time. But things has changed. We’re best friends now! I hope u feel the same way too… Awww….. hahahaha So yeah, i guess its all becos of self-esteem too. Now tons of guys aftering me sis, and she’s like super hot too!!! Working in the bank, she has loose alot of weight, looking hot, she can wear me clothes now =P

So yea… im running out of the point. Oh well.. i like to express my inner feelings sometimes kekekekeke…. so yeah…. im stressing this point again that self-esteem is the only thing that ROCKS!

Do keep good people close to you, love your friends and be kind to others because GOOD DEEDS CERTAINLY CANNOT BE FORGOTTEN!

XOXO Stella Matilda

This is Smokey!

I guess Smokey is just vain as me!!! hehehehe

Sleeping so cute like me!!! hehehehehe and big big eyes like me!!! heheheheh i love her tail

I return KK for only 1 reason, is to be home for my daddy’s birthday! its also his official retirement day Time to relax daddy! So gave his is presents, he got a bottle of wine all the way from PARIS! and ISSAY MIYAKE perfume and a whole bunch of dvds in a folder! he was so happy hahahaha im the golden child

So yeah, Karen and i.. the usual went clubbing… so friday was freaking bored… oh well… but i dont know why since i had alchohol poisioned previously, i dont really have the heart to drink anymore… its definately the side effects from that. Haha!!! Completely sick to the ground tot i was dying…… sniff sniff

Tonight, going for Miss Sabah World beauty pageant reunion! Missed all the girls so much! Why pizza hut again? lol Then after dat we’re all going clubbing! where? thats a secret… cos we’re like hellooo…. the hottest girls in Sabah! so u’re gonna have to figure it out

Sunday, going back to KL… need to check on Smokey… she’s in SPCA for a surgery

Cant wait for Monday!

This job i’ve got, its to sacrifies my hair. That is to dye my entire
black hair to… RED! So they started by bleaching my hair, which dat
really hurts my scalp, then they dye it light purple, really look like
Ultra Violet at that point, then they dye it Red.

Other than that, i am getting a pet kitty this saturday!!!! yay!!! Shen calls it Smokey!!! Here kitty kitty kitty….

Smokey isnt there nemore….

I got a job for an Italian Hairshow brand Alfaparf, so this morning i had to go Cheras to where the saloon is at.

Okay, so first of all. I didnt know they were gonna dye my hair… cos my agen told me that they mite just gimme a sexy curl… but seems like the italian hairstylist wants to make me from the dark knight hair looks into this gothicly sophisticated hair look. Firstly, they blonde my hair, then they dye it to PURPLE!!! then in the end they put in a non-permanant PINK-REDDISH hair color on me. So currently my hair looks like dat.

Hairshow is tomorrow night at Zouk. Agen said that the italian hairstylist wants me to be the main model of his show. Who knows what he might end up making my hair for tomorrow night then…

So due to the fact i am stuck with my hair half-done colored weirdly, i couldnt go spca to take Smokey, so i asked Shen to help me pick her up… But only to heard from him that Smokey isnt there anymore…. and with my normal emotional reaction i started to cry…. cry cause cannot get smokey and cry cos the bleaching hurts the scalp of my head. It really really hurt…..i feel like there were thousands and thousands of red ants biting my scalp….or theres ppl poking my head with needles…. they had to bleach it twice… my scalp was damn weak now… even when i touch it, it hurts… or when i try to tie my hair up oso sakit… it jus hurts…

Being a model is hard, im gonna think twice before saying yes to the next job…its just kinda rude not asking permission if dats okay to dye my hair 1st too… dat italian hairstylist probably dont give a damn…. models are barbies anyway… sighs

I’m hoping to get the other version of Smokey at SPCA…..i really wanna get more cat allergic… i dun mind…. i jus wan a living creature sleeping with me…. it gets cold at night….

Alright, after all my talkings of being alone in my room, i decided to adopt a kitty 7 months old from SPCA, Ampang. I have went there twice, 2nd time was with Shen. So we have decided which cat i would want, and i have choose this 7 month female teenage kitty Shen named her Smokey!!! It does suits her very well. We’re gonna pick her up tomorrow, i hope she’ll still be there. She’s the prettiest kitty i have ever seen!!!! So beautiful… mixure of black, white and greyish… its tail its like a tupai! so kiiuuutttt :D  hehehehehhe its rm200 tho to adopt it oh well…. take it as a charity for the animals, as long as i get Smokey home with me i am satisfy

I mean, i would have taken a puppy okay, but ive been growing up with dogs and cats around me, and honestly…. i prefer cats all these times… Chad is just a mistake that end up useful taking care of my parents hse back hometown. Good dog now tho, very very well behave and he does his job proudly. Haha

Oh man… i cant wait to bring Smokey home!!!!!! Ohhh Smmoookkkeyyy…… smooookeeeeyyyy key key kiiii ki ki ki  I’m gonna take load of pictures of her to show how sexy and beautiful she is… just like me *nyeh my self-esteem Puik

Other than tat, i think i gotta stop buying shoes for now, i have more than 40 shoes in total… some of them i dont really use anymore, and theres more shoes back in my hometown in KK… yikes… i got 3 more years in KL and i can imagine how the heck am i gonna bring all my stuffs back…? well someone better be nice to me when i start moving, cos i mite end up giving away as charity lol
Here are the few shoes that i usually use out of the rest which i keep it in the corner else where cos bikin collect dust.

Here is the picture of what Smokey will look like…

        At times, i feel lost… Like i cant decide if i should buy that shoe or that shoe… or that other shoe… I mean…i love black shoe, it makes me look hot and sexy, but that white shoe is kinda look good on me too. Or i cant decide if i want to have japanese again for dinner or just go mc donalds and grab a mc. fillet o meal!

        Living without my parents are sometimes depressing… cos i then have to think what to have for dinner. Or then i have to do my own laundry and worrying how much more money i have left in my bank account. I miss home… I miss the times i could go out with Karen and party like no body’s business and just get all drunk with no worries. Its a girl thang. And we would cuci mata tengok cute guys in the club. Heekekeke… lesbo actions huh? guys enjoys watching 2 girls dancing with each other like snakes!

        All i want now is something meaningful…. i mean besides i want to be with my parents again, and to be with my vip sisters and having slumber part and gossip session… but i still want him… All my life, love has been always the strongest effect into  life. It makes me do things… i mean… i have been in many relationships. My first kiss, hahahah… that’s just funny. It almost ruin my friendship with my bestest friend. But then i ended it because my friends are most important at that time. I enjoyed my lovelife when i was younger, cos there were so many guys aftering me that time. It was quite funny when i come to think about it.

        In Labuan, this boy came everyday to the front gate of my house and ask me what i want. So everyday he offered something to me. And i would ask for Sailormoon stickers, then the next day will be flower, then the next day will be Spice Girls cassatte… yeahhh dulu kan CD i masi tak reti hahaha!

        In Kota Kinabalu, i live in this small taman area. All my friends are basically boys, i am the only girl. My bodyguard is this guy who lives opposite me, he would bring me out and hang out with the rest of the boys. I was 12 then. We would play roller blad, football, bicycle, basketball and throwing stones are cars that passes by… Hahahah crazy!!! then at night we all would just hangout at Khai’s hse and he would play his guitar singing malay songs… yeah dulu im quite update wit all the malay songs… Oh and all the boys are malays as well, except for Gerrit he is from Lusiana but lived in KK for all his live.

        As i was growing up, these are the ppl that was most precious to me. Jiddin (my bodyguard), Khai (he plays the guitar), Melzam (we dated for a couple of month and Jiddin didnt like it, cos he tot me how to smoke lol), Aladin (then broke up with melzam and dated Aladin but i dump him after dat for lying to me on xmas day), and Gerrit (he is neutral) when he had to leave to the states for studies, he told me that he loved me for all this time. But the reason why he didnt wanna date me cos his mom doesnt like me, cos i hangout with only boys… sighh… So he declared his love only after Jiddin told me. Then after all this confession, Gerrit told me why he didnt date me also becos he knew Jiddin loves me too. Awww….. aint that sweeeett! Hekekeke…. so yeahh that my childhood  puppy love… or lovesssssss

        Then byk lah… then met Ben.. i mean, becos of him i am in KL actually… but things didnt work out the way i tot it would be. Its his lost now. I am nothing but a free bird now with a better bird beside me to  take care of me and to love me and to feed me… errmmm suap suap hehehehe

        I guess love really moves me in a way. It can kill me too if im not strong enuf to handle things. Ohhhh i remember so much of everything that i can cry NO MORE now… that sorrowful event… that heart breaking moment… ohh when the truth came out all…. i have no idea what life can bring me… Here i am, strong and pretty. Smart and sexy, hahahaha Life is so much better now, was once a little lost girl… now im having some directions of where i wanna walk to….

        I think i’m gonna walk downstairs for breakfast! To all my ex boyfriends, if u read this… I don’t hate you, but i just don’t like you anymore. And to my best friends… you know who u are… you are the best ever in my whole entire friend’s list that i can think of, without u… i might be…. might be…. somewhere la… and to my current boyfriend… i love you so much and i adore you… thank you so much for taking care of me all these years… and years to come i hope if God allows, and who knows one day we can have a little baby that look like britney spears hahahah EWWWWww….. so yeah…my boyfriend is the best ever! He rocks my world! and my…… yeaaa yeaa…. goodnight….. he is so hensem *MUUAHHHH