The GirL AwaY FroM HoMe

Yesterday night, as i wanted to go wash my face n brush my teeth, i heard my friend’s voice, screaming and shouting. I went into her room, she was quarelling with her boyfriend on the phone. Its sooooooo crazy. she was screaming at the top of her lungs. I get so irritated. but it caught my attention too, cus i never seen any couple quarrell that bad before. Of course, its normal for her and her bf, but i just cant understand how can anyone quarrell until using crude words to hurt each other and in the end saying things they didnt mean.

Its kinda funny, and then she put on the loud speaker so i can hear what her bf says. And he said something about me. He said, "i’m sure u wore mini skirt just now when u guys goes out, stella always wears a mini skirt. and you always like to follow what stella wears."

Wow… i was like surprised that wot other people do, it got to do with me. am i the bad influence all the time?? i guess i am… but sorry man… i’m not wearing any mini skirts nemore, since last week. I kinda change my warobe already you out dated lausy boyfriend. So control and control like control maniac. I used to have a control freak boyfriend before, and its fucking sucks. He wants to take over your whole daily life and making sure you have no life at all. Cant go out with friends, can go do anything fun without him. For him, he is your fun. *Sigh* What a jackass!

thank goddy i am single for now. feel free to do anything i like. I mean, its nice to have a boyfriend. someone u can lean on during ur bad times with ur girlfriends or whatever. someone u can share popcorn with or a cup of soda and watch a movie. or cuddle to sleep. knowing ur are stay tonite and sleep tight… dat sort of thing… man… shh shhh… stella… cut it!!

so anyways, in the end… my friend dump her boyfriend last night. Kinda harsh how she screamed at him i dont think i can ever do that, i cant even raise my voice any higher than i can, unless i get rape haha eww… choi choi… hmm… oh well…

Its second week of college. And its been happening a lot lately. I’m so blur… funny enough i cant be bothered. Or am i lying to myself? Right… here comes me talking to myself with my deep thinking again. It sucks. I’m sooo stressed out!!! Uhh… i just decided to change my sense of fashion!!! to wot?? more cover!!! less flesh to show!! hahaha! i think its a good start to change myself to be a more decent n presentful teenage adult girl. Yiippeee ya ya!! em em em!! cotton candy!! wheres my cotton candy!!!!

hehehehe…yesterday was my 1st shoot for the hiphop episod for a fashion tv programme. And its my 1st job doing something that shows in the tv. I wont lie that i was extreamely nervous on the set. Moreover, i have to create my own script so its more natural. Fair enough. Although i only have this small role, but i say its a good start. Every step is a stepping stone.

     The people in the set was very kind. All very friendly. Khairul the project manager, we got Lam n Irene the make up artist, Justin the stylist, Jasmine n this one woman i forgot her name the director, mr. camera man, the sound engineer, camera man assistant from Ranau.. sabah yeah! hehehehe lol.. Felicia my assistant shes very nice to me. Thanks babe! all the other crews that are so helpful in the set. Everyone felt like a family… we spend the whole day together. working hard. all of us were tired.. i was so tired… i can still remember how tiring. Stand-by, rolling.. Action! Cut! Re-take the same scence over and over for 10 million times. it could be either justin forgot what to say, or i blocked the camera, or couldnt get the right angle, or the sound system couldnt hear my soft voice(yea yea… lol). Its exciting tho. Much fun and much to complain! Well balance! hehehehhe

    Overall, i had an awesome experience!!! Its priceless to ever felt this feeling. Feeling lucky to be a part of this field. Thanks for everyone for their support. I’m still learning alot. Thanks to Shen… he help me the most of everything… I’m so lucky to have all this people to me. Like i said.. everywhere i go, i felt like God send me angels in human form to take care of me. Well whatever it is. Thanks..

    I dont know where the shoot going to show on tv, but will find it out soon. I have no idea how it turns out to be!!! sooooo excited!!!

Camera Rolling…. Action!!                                                              CUT! lol!!

…check out my photo album for sneak peak of wot i am doing… shhh…

Trees doenst grow overnight,

Rome wasnt built in a day,

Everything takes time and patient,

Its harder to be done than say.

     I’ve watched Batman the other day with my sweety Shen. I know… isnt that an all time guy’s favorite movie?!?! hahaha i know… i kinda like it after watching it. It has one big message that is so strong to motivate one inner self. That is "Never Give Up". In the movie Batman, Bruce father said to him while taking him out from a deephole filled with bats that Bruce fell into.. and he said "Why do we fall? So that we can pick ourselves up." And thats when it all started.

     So we fail. We lose. We fall. Once. Twice. Trice? Again and perhaps more again? Like me, i always fall. I mean not physically…but in college or like in something you wanna do. I never passed my accounting exam paper. I did pretty good in test, but when the real exam comes, its hell for me…Friends tell me "Everything will be alright after tomorrow.."(better be! or start giving me more tissues!), "It will soon be over, trust me" (yeah i know… it has to end somewhere rite?), "Pray and God will help you think clearly" (if i’m not prepared, not even magic will help darling…unless i have 6 sense)

     I’ve failed so many times in many thing. I was never the winner in anything important. Only winner in unimportant ocassions (like kickass!!! party chick!!! promqueen!! winner who eat the most!! who spends the most!!! yeah all me the bad side!!!) *sigh*  i get pretty tired of trying to win or to reach my goals in life. But what really motivates me was knowing that i should stop feeling sorry for myself.

     Stop telling yourself that "i should have, or i could have, or if only i…" all this is bullshits!! Stop feeling sorry for yourself and find ways to improve in everything that is unbalanced. This is my 1st time saying this to myself. All this while i was like not to be bothered, easy come- easy go… But i dont think i should be in some situation.

     Today for Fundamental Of Accounting exam paper 9am-11am, i couldnt do it. I just cant do it anymore. I have no knowledge of how to answer. So i did what i can, and the rest, empty. I left at 10am. I told myself… i’ll prove to myself that i am not a nutshell!!! i will do better in my resit!!

I fall on my own so i will get up on my own… no matter how long it will take

In the end… it all DOES MATTERS…

its just how you see life…

     My fav shoe got stolen during a photo shoot in genting valley, and saw Voir were doing some photo shoots too. It sooo hilarious man!!! i gotta say, why do such people do that. Moreover, that shoe was completely full with mud as i have walked on very muddy ground and it jus soo buruk!!! my goodness… punya lawak!!! it was stolen near the riverside where i left them as we had to go deeper to the river. After the shoot, i was freaking looking for my shoe tapi… uh uh uh HILANG.. So i had to walk with bare feet. Climbed up that extreamely bad little mountain and my feet hurts like hell. Plus before that, i did tons of walking with manager around genting golf course. It a beautiful place.

     My week actually kinda bad, the past several weeks actually. Havent been updating my blog journal here and there. My laptop is down. It sux. This the second time my baby laptop hates me. And it happens on the same time as the 1st time, that is close to exam!!! What la… menggada betulllllll…

     One day, i wanted to buy a RM10 reload from the machine vendor. I put rm10, and then press the button. But no card came out. I was like "what the f*ck!" hehehe nak gila actually. Almost wanted to wack that machine but i sabar n sabar. Still nothing come out. Yeah, it ate my money!!! Tat hungry ka?? ishhh… buruknya!!! punya lawak…!!!Before that 2 incident, my pendrive lost as well. i probably drop it somewhere. uhhh…. babiiikkkss!!!!

     Oh well, but overall everything is good. Exam is in 4 days time. Good Luck To Me!!!! I cant wait to go back home for the Chinese New Year Holidays!!! Yeeeeeeppeeee…. CHAD!!!!! I’m coming home!!! leeeemmmmeee kissshhh kisshhh u uuuuuuu naughty little fury kampung doggieee!!!!muakkkssss!!! and my room!!!! my mom!!! my dad!! my sis!!! mari mari semua come come to my hse in kingfisher park 3, hse no.2!!! ambik ang pau!!! hahaha

     After going to Petaling Street and didn’t get fake cds and dvds, me and my friend went to get something else. It happens that today there is some minister or you would call “the big people” visiting Petaling Street, so the DBKL was there to control the location. Therefore, no fake dvds and cds out on sale. What a day! Then it started to rain heavily. Me and my friend went into 7eleven and I bought an umbrella cause my old one I left it at the mamak shop, and I don’t think I will get it back. As soon as I bought the umbrella we took a walk back to the LRT station. It rained to heavily I started to laugh. Cause never in my life going out like this and rains so heavily. I feel that it’s a big joke to me! I got all wet and I can feel different kind of dirty water just stick to my legs. Walked on shity roads and don’t know whatever bacteria and virus is sticking to me. Yuck!

     So at the LRT station, me and my friend go separate ways. She’s going to KL Sentral to catch a KTM to go Seremban meeting her boyfriend. So I took LRT back to Wangsa Maju. I went into the train and something attracted me. There was a man about age 26 standing in front of me reading Harry Potter. He dressed up in a red working t-shirt with a khaki slack. He wasn’t wearing any tie. He noticed I was looking at him. Then he smiled at me, so I smiled back and look at else where. Don’t want him to misunderstood me for being a pervert or something. But actually, I was looking at his book. I wanted to see what part was he reading. I’m not really a Harry Potter fan, but it just attracts me. I saw his tag to put like a card thingy written ”Alliance Banking” all over. So I guessed he works in the bank. He held a red umbrella on his right hand, while holding Harry Potter with only his left hand. He is reading with style. He also carries a red back pack. Wow… everything in red. Red means confident and dominator.

     So the next stop, the woman sat next to me went off, so he grabbed the seat next to me. He smiled at me as he sat. Then I noticed he drop a name card. I picked it up and give it to him. He said thank you. So I asked him what number is he reading. He said it’s the 5^th. Then we started to talk about Harry Potter. He told me he has the whole collection, mean that’s 7 books. That amazed me. Cause I don’t really know any guys that loves reading Harry Potter. I know most people rather wait for the movie to come out. Mostly girls only does the reading. But I guess I was wrong. Then we talked about the movie Harry Potter the 4^th one was actually quite disappointing, because there are many parts that were more interesting didn’t actually made into the movie. In the book, there was more story to tell compared to the ones in the movie. Well, I surposed… it has to be one way or the other to tell the story. Then he introduced himself to him, his name was Adrian. And I told him my name too. We shook hands. Very formal. Then we continuedtalked about Lord of the Rings. He also has the whole collection. And NARNIA as well, and theres another one which is also fantasy books that was popular too, but I cannot remember. We talked for a while about Harry Potter and other books that he read. Its very interesting. I told him to continue where he read and said sorry for bothering him. And he told me that its okay, because he actually read finish all the Harry Potter books. He just couldn’t find anything else more interesting to read, so he read it all over again and again. I guessed he loves Harry Potter.

      Then my stop came, I have to go. He shook my hands again and said nice meeting me and take care. It was a nice LRT trip. Funny tho.

     I have a funny feeling about my English Teacher Mr.Raymond. Since day one, he seems to pay more attention to me. Well, not that he dont care about the other students, but i feel like he watches everything that i do and say in class. If i did anything wrong, he will mock me for 5 minutes and sometimes up to 15 minutes. Like during my English Presentation, i was so careless enough to forgot to prepare a hardcopy for him and then he wants to disqualify me for my English Presentation. This presentation is very important, if i dont pass this, i cannot sit for my exam. So i felt torn apart and angry at the same time at myself. Then i quickly make a hardcopy during the class as other students do their presentation. I was crying in my heart and i could feel tears filling in my eyes, but i have everything in control cause i dont wanna be all too "EMO" with it. Finally, i finished with the hardcopy and i went to him politely and ask him to give me a chance for my presentation. I sweet talk to him and went lower… (if u know wot i mean heehehe) and after 7 minutes begging him, he said yes. Phew! He has a long breathe in class. Talks a lot. In sarcastic ways and filled with not very funny jokes.

     When taking attendance, he calls everybody’s name except mine. He calls me "The East Malaysia Girl", and i will go "Here!". I probably attract people in many different kind of ways that i get so many nicknames. I’m pretty used to this already. I find it very funny at the same time. He asked me today if he could visit me in Kota Kinabalu if he goes there, and i said yes, you can stay at my place. And he shocked. He was like "ohhh…. no no… but thats very sweet of you that you let me visit you there. See… she’s a very nice girl" Hooo…. he mocks me and compliments me… very well balance. Not bad. Not bad.

Accounting Tutorial as well, my teacher Mr.Chik (i think haha) always tease me. Gimme silly answers. I asked him "How do i find the net profit?" and he said "Use the calculator" okay… if it was that simple, i would have done that myself, now wouldnt i? He always give me funny faces. Well, he’s kinda funny most times with his jokes. Other students say he is a pervert cause he love girls. Maybe he love girls, but doesnt mean he is a pervert. Right? haha Ohh accounting class today suck ass, i couldnt understand. But seems like every question ask the same thing, mostly they want balance sheet, income statement, income and expenditure account, double entry, all this i need to memorize the format. Shen was right. He’s like so experience in accounting already. Gosh… accounting = headache

     BM teacher as well, she always compliment me this and that. Saying i look like Mix-Arabian (hohoho… thats so funny!). Macroeconomics teacher, he just likes me! ewwhahahe always ask me where i live for thousand of times. And the way he sms me if weird sometimes. I remember there’s once he sms "Please wait for me Stella. I am coming. Unless it starts to rain" its actually cause he is always late for our tutorial class and often has to cancell it. Its annoying. My friends laughed at the way he message me. Its like as if he has a date with me or something. Hahaha…

     Not just teachers that act this way towards me, even people works in the cafeteria. Maybe i am just too friendly too people and that makes everyone comfortable to confront to me in whatever situation. I find this very plesant. I am nice to people and people are nice to me. Isnt this a beautiful world?

Say… what comes around, goes around… its a karma!

I woke up at 5.30am this morning for 2 reason. No.1 to help waking up my friend to make his MyCard and No.2, ive got class at 8am. But thats not the point. A BM Class was surpose to run at 8-10am today as a replacement of the day before. So at went back to sleep and woke up nearly 8am. I was so sleepy but i still force myself to wake up to go for her class. I never get dress this fast in my life and walk so fast so go somewhere before. I was walking so fast i almost trip! And when i reach the class its about 8.20am. And guess what? She didnt come. Waited for her until it was 9am. She called me the night before to comfirm me that the class is still running. But then, today, she didnt fullfill her saying. What the hell? So nevermind. I went to the library until its 11am. Then i have to attend a Macroeconomic Tutorial class Mr.Ed Wong (beloved teacher!). Class starts at 11-12pm. And what the hell… he didnt come too. Msg him but no reply. Call him, but his mobile switched off. I mean, common!… you gotta be kidding. These teachers are adults! I was hoping they will act one and give a good example to us students. But Noooooooo… they are acting like students as well. Skipping class for no reason. I dont mind if class is cancelled, but please inform me so i can tell my whole class that class is cancelled instead all of us have to waste our time going to class when there isnt any teacher. Might as well stay at home to do our own revision, since exam is in 2 weeks time!

Anyway, who am i to judge these human? I only have the rights to give out my opinion. Everyone has their own reason to react in such situations. Say… Every action, There is a reaction. 

Even the manager of the airlines can’t get a ticket for his daughter to come home for Christmas on a last minute call. So i couldn’t get a small little seat for myself to go home for Christmas. i didnt really mind sitting in the cabin or with the pilot. Instead, she’s stuck in Kuala Lumpur. The city of the depression for a girl away from home (maybe prosperity burger from McD will cheer her up, jolly joyful burger instead?). I was really sad that i couldnt get back to celebrate Christmas with my family.

My mom called up a few days before saying that my sister just bought a Christmas Tree and going to put it up and decorate it. I was happy to hear that because the last time we had a Christmas Tree in our house is when i was 11 years old. Its been 7 years! No Present under a decorated tree. No just any tree. Its Christmas Tree we’re talking about! Only once in a year sort of thing. Its special. Christmas is a time to spend with close people that you love & care. Family. Me, "The Girl Away From Home" has all the posibilities to be apart from family physically and likely to bury my head in the darkest hole i can find to cry and fill that hole with my tears when i’m sad.

Being away from home is a challege. I find it very interesting. Like Christmas, i spend my whole weekend with a close friend of mine. He is kind enough to spend all his time with me. Entertaining me. Trying to keep me happy and enjoy my Christmas. I didnt do any countdown for Christmas like my sister did with her friends, instead i fell asleep while watching Harry Potter at my friends house. And when i woke up, its past midnight. With my half-asleep face i wished the only person lay next to me "Merry Christmas…" and he was the 1st to wish me back too. And there goes another Christmas just come and go.

Most people hope to spend Christmas with family or their boyfriend/girlfriend. As for me, i dont have a flight back to be with my family. A Boyfriend? Its complicated, but I’m happy with what i have right now. Sometimes its not "boyfriend" that can always make u happy. Its friends that really make you happy. Look back on every momment that you are down, who really cares? Your friends of course. The 1st person the share a shoulder to cry on. Her name can be Charlaine? or His name can be Shen? You know who your friends are. 

People try to seek the best in life. Perfectionist. Everything has to be perfect. Even woman wants a  man that is Perfect. Picture your Perfect Man. How will he be? The list is so long isnt it? I thought so. But if Perfect Man havent appear yet, just stick to your Perfect Friend. To have a Perfect Friend is very important. Look, perfect doesnt really mean perfect, pls dun get me wrong. Its just a statement of the best of the best.

Perfect friend, is that person you can call your "friend", "sweety", "darling", "monkey", or "hey king kong!" and he or she will give u a funny name or special name too. Perfect Friend is that person that is Always there for you no matter if the the sun rises the wrong side of the world or the rain starts to rain only in your direction. Perfect Friend is that person that support you like your backbone, keep you standing even when you have no strenght to stand on your own feet. The Perfect Friend is the human journal in your life, listens to everything you wanna say but with a good feedback that lightens up your sorrow and filling up more of your happy bottle. The Perfect Friend spend time to be with you when you needed him/her and keep you company when you are lonely. Its a tough job to be a perfect friend, but many are doing just fine.

In my case, ive got many perfect friends. And at the moment, there is a perfect friend that is always there for me. He looks out for me, making sure i’m alright. I’m always glad to have him as my friend cus at the moment, i can talk to just about anything. Sharing our problems, thoughts and hangout. Its a blessing to me that God send such wonderful people in my life.Somehow, love is love, care is care, but there can never be care if love wasnt there.

(Here’s a view, one of the side i stand with my friend. Picture not so clear, but when you’re there… its an amazing view…)

Yesterday, my friend surpose to take me go watch a movie, but we couldnt get into the parking lot for some stupid reason. So in the end, he take me around the city. Taking me to places i have never been before in my life. We went to Tugu Negara , his old high school, St.John Church and the most stunning view of kl… the menara kl… Once i lay my eyes out the window in the highest tower, i was out of words. Just so beautiful. Watching the city lights ..and with him.. the lights seems to be more relaxing..  i Can see everything from up there. Its beautiful..

(We’re at Tugu Negara… its so hot that afternoon! we had coconut drink after dat! i had a great time!)

I had a really great time even it wasnt in the plan. It funny how the unexpected stunned you!!! But it doesnt mean that everything you plan is a disaster, but really… the way i see it… i plan for the unexpected, that way is way more exciting! but of course the plan for the plan is cool too, its sometimes to achieve. But life in general, i go for the unexpected! So here’s what "the girl away from home" has to say.. Appriciate people in your life. Accept things that you cannot change, but change things that you can. And remember, care can never exsist without love.

p/s: Love is not a thing, its a gift.. so give love to people around you.

Animal Testing

Your choice in cosmetic products will not only impact your personal health but also the life and health of laboratory animals.  Tens of millions of animals a year are tortured by shocking, burning, poisoning, and mutilation for various animal experiments in the U.S.. Millions of these animals are killed unnecessarily to test the safety of cosmetics and household products. These animals include dogs, cats, rabbits, guinea pigs, hamsters and primates.

Some examples of tests performed on these animals include:

The Draize Eye Test

The application of irritating and toxic substances to the eyes of animals. These animals are held in stocks to keep them from dislodging these substances and usually go blind from the tests. These animals suffer intense pain in these tests which can last up to 21 days. When the test is complete these animals may be killed or used for other tests.

Dermal Toxicity Test  

Animals have potentially caustic substances applied to their shaved skin while in immobilizing devices to determine irritation levels.

Lethal Dose Tests

Force feeding, injection or inhalation of substances to determine the quantity or concentration that will cause death.

These various tests cause the animals to have convulsions, vomiting, diarrhea, paralysis, and bleeding from the eyes, nose, mouth and skin. The duration of these types of tests can last from months to years.

 

These tests do not guarantee what a reaction might be of these test substances on humans. Also, these tests do not guarantee the safety of products that end up on shelves. This is seen in the fact that conventional personal care products contain substances recognized as hazardous and continue to cause skin irritation and allergic reactions.

dont you all just hate animals testing!!!! my gosh…. rabbit’s eyes bleeding… vomiting… thats soooo abusing the animals… poor little innocents..